Commercial advertising is at the expense of consumers. Discuss? The following is the real essay written by Biji Lukose from Scotland. These days many people are of the opinion that an advertisement increases the expense of consumers. Some however, disagree with this pursuit for a host of reasons. This will explain various view points for obtaining sagacious conclusion. It is a fact that today advertisements are essential marketing strategy. Nowadays, due to advancement in the field of technology advertisements can be easily available almost everywhere. At present most of the advertising agencies are profits oriented. In order to increase their popularity advertising agencies telecast their product more frequently. Once they achieve fame and popularity, they charge more money for their products. They adopt various measures to increase their yield. For example, agencies endorse certain celebrity for their product. This person performing their role effectively by concealing it actual fact. Likewise, it can capture the mind of the public and force them to buy this expensive product without knowing its actual fact. This practice definitely hinders the financial status of an individual. As a result, it would negatively affect the personal as well as professional life. On the other hand, some people believe that, no one has the right to criticise others. It is their responsibility to increase the profit of their product through advertisements. According to them manufacturing companies have full right to make their own decision. Citizens should be aware about these factors and should be more vigilant. Through which, advertising agencies can increase awareness of the public regarding their products. As a result, public can improve their awareness and purchase the product by knowing everything. From the above mentioned points it can be concluded that, even though advertisements increase awareness, it definitely disturb the financial stability. People should be wise enough to differentiate right from wrong. Commercial advertising is at the expense of consumers. Discuss? BIJI would got 6.5 if she had gone with the above version. The corrected version would fetch above 7. See how these two differ in terms of content, grammar, punctuation, vocab and cohesion elements. This is the refined version These days many people are of the opinion that an advertisement increases the expense of consumers. Some, however, disagree with this pursuit for a host of reasons. This will explain various view points for obtaining sagacious conclusion. A NEW introduction: There is a general impression that, at the end of the day, advertising as such actually is paid for by consumers themselves. This essay will discuss this view in detail to see the substance behind such a look at advertising. 40 words It is a fact that, today, advertisements are an essential for marketing and, due to advancements in the field of technology, advertisements are (ubiquitous) seen almost everywhere. Obviously, most of the advertising exercises (agencies) are profit-oriented. In order to increase the popularity of products and services (vocabulary) advertisers put up their commercials across the media very frequently. Once they achieve fame and name, they charge more money for their products. 68 words Paragraph is long enough Biji For example, manufacturers and their agents rope in some celebrities paying millions to endorse their product or service. Naturally, such commercials conquer the minds of credulous consumers and force them to buy even expensive products without knowing its real worth, use or relevance. This practice definitely hinders the financial status of an individual. As a result, it would negatively affect the personal as well as professional life. Biji, Check if the above paragraph speaks more about pressure of advertising on consumers or something about the question that advertising is paid out by consumers. See how it is managed to meet the task fulfillment. So avoid the above paragraph and take the following one. For example, manufacturers and their agents rope in some celebrities, paying millions, to endorse their products or services. Naturally, such commercials conquer the minds of credulous consumers and force them to buy things. It is common sense to believe that the millions the makers shell out for endorsements get added on to the price tag of the product being sold. 60 words Ajaypeesdoc. www.jpsukham.blogspot.in This fact notwithstanding, it is unfair to believe that consumers are left in the lurch when it comes to advertising. As a matter of fact, consumers are at an advantage. For example, they get better quality products, greater awareness on various manufacturers offering same services and products and above all, advertising is bound to increase the accountability quotient of manufacturers. 60 words In short, from the above mentioned points, it can be inferred that, even though advertisements increase awareness, it definitely puts some holes in the pockets of consumers. People should be wise enough to differentiate between what is a need and what is unwanted when they react to advertising. 45 words 275 words