Changes in food habits: it is alright but it is bad. a discussion

The question was a discussion, but the candidate was approaching it as if it is an afguement. task suffered and the score scaled down to below seven. this is from Josekutty. Mr. from Ireland 

Changes in food habits are happening must faster than ever. Some people believe that it is no big deal as it is a collateral development of the changing life, while there are others who hold the view that it is a much bigger problem than it looks.

Discuss both the views and put in your opinion on it

Changing food pattern is common in today’s life. Some people considered ( why past tense?) it normal. However, others think it is a serious issue. I would like to discuss both the views.

On the one hand, some people believe that rolling food pattern is fine. They say in such a way that it is very much part of their life. For example, in a survey conducted in the UK revealed the fact that 80% people do not worried about their changing food habits. To be more clearer, (you cannot say more and clearer together, ;JK. It is clearer) people are more conscious about conveniences and time than clinging to one pattern of food. In addition to this, people feel  monotony, ( not a monotony) when continuing the same pattern of food for a long time. So, It seems that people wish to look for changes in food habits as a routine life style now.

Comment: The question was in plural form (Changes in food habit are)  in the sense, changers in food habits, but you treat it as a singular idea. You have to respect the text of the question jk)

The opposing camp may have their own claims to stick on to their own guns.  They may argue that adopting to novel food habit so swiftly can cause more harm than good. To illustrate this, having food from modern food chains like motels and junk food eateries can cause severe health problems like weight gain, obesity, indigestion and even cancers of various types. To be more precise, many modern food preparations consist of artificial substance for taste and colour, which gradually eat on the precious life of human beings. So, the opposing position is not without enough substance. Once culturally inherited food preferences are in their genes, and greater changes in habits will even change the genes, they may claim.

Concluding the discussion, my opinion on faster changes in food habits are normal and it is impossible to maintain a mono food pattern at all times. Moreover, changing food pattern does not appear to be a big problem in most of the people in the community. (Changes in food habits) see how your singular tone has influenced your conclusion too.